In case anyone from back home thinks I’m real cool, I’d like to disabuse them of the notion. Fact: I did not wake up early this morning to go to the gym, and then do yoga in my spare bedroom, as half-heartedly planned. I did wake up an hour late, and as first thing on the morning’s docket Google “Joan London” while sitting on the toilet. Note: Her name is spelled “Joan Lunden.” Now we know. (And she’s still alive, which is the thing I wanted to know at six AM.) I am wearing a Turbie Twist on my head, and it is pink. And I did slip in my dog’s pooled drool while making myself a refried bean burrito for breakfast. This is my life, today.